Alright, guys, let’s get some things straight. And maybe you can even help me come to love the movie I expected I would.

I’m a huge Star Wars fan. I’m not geeky or nerdy about it like a large portion of its following. I didn’t at any point try to figure out what episodes 7, 8, and 9 were going to be about beforehand. But I’ve seen the 6 episodes dozens of times each, played a few of the video games, know that Han shot first, understand why Lucas started at episode 4, etc.

I’m also a big fan of JJ Abrams. The man knows how to make a hit movie – maybe not a classic film, but a hit movie. And we still had John Williams scoring, and the original vision from the man Lucas himself before he handed it off.

But I’m really frustrated about The Force Awakens. More so than everybody else was about Jar Jar. (Even though Lucas and team were planning to unveil Jar Jar as a sith lord, which would have made him the best character of all in my opinion. Don’t believe me? Read this.)

The acting wasn’t terrible, but I wouldn’t have called it good, either. The dialogue was predictable and lacking in flare. The whole film felt like a the writers made a paper mache collage from past scripts. Here’s what I mean.

Oh, Luke exiled himself after failing to stop a rogue jedi? Hmm, when have we seen this before? Oh yeah, when Yoda failed to stop the sith, and then Luke had to go find him on that swamp of a planet. Obi Wan went into exile because of his failure with Anakin. You didn’t want to do anything different?

Thanks for ruining all the suspense by revealing the largest part of the plot twenty minutes in! Oh cool, so Kylo’s ya boy Solo’s kid? Makes sense. I mean, all this has to stay in the family somehow, right? But did you have to tell me before we even made it half way through the film? Where’s the fun in that?

Kylo Ren killed Solo, predictably. I mean, did no one else see this coming the whole time? Isn’t Han’s entire existence as a character to go against the grind and be at least slightly unpredictable? Also, it bares a striking resemblance to Vader killing Obi Wan. The “good” guy gets murdered by the one he tried to raise and care for? Seen it before, JJ.

What’s with Kylo Ren pulling out his saber to slash things when he’s mad? I miss the good ol’ days, when masters of the force would just feel angry and you would see things changing and moving and breaking all around them. If Kylo’s really trained by Luke and the Supreme Leader, why does he need a saber to express anger destructively?

And another thing about this great evil Kylo. He’s been trained, right? So how do some punk storm trooper clone and his own cousin both nearly beat him in a duel? Storm trooper’s can’t hit the broad side of a barn with a blaster, and this guy who’s never actually fought in combat is standing toe to toe with a powerful jedi? Come on.

Aren’t all the storm troopers clones, anyway? Aren’t they all genetically predisposed to look, act, and think the same as each other? Who messed up so badly in science class that they grew some dude who one day decided he didn’t want to be a part of this anymore? [UPDATE: Apparently the clones were phased out for storm troopers, which makes me happier.]

Why is the Supreme Leader hologram the size of Sears Tower? Everywhere else in the Star Wars series, hologram’s are the same size as the people they’re depicting. Why create such grandeur? It reminds me of the aliens in the last Indiana Jones movie, and we all know how bad those were.

Lastly (for now) why is it the same plot line as the last trilogy? Before, you had to blow up the Death Star. Now, you have to blow up the Starkiller Base? You have to find a man in exile to train the next jedi. You have to stop the good guy who went bad. Everyone’s favorite character dies. And if the point is for it to mimic the original trilogy, why would you do that? It doesn’t exactly make me want to watch episodes 8 and 9 when I know what’s going to happen.

I had a lot of hope for this film. I was really hoping that the creators would live up to the expectations of the franchise’s fan base. That there would be a good story told throughout the 2+ hour period instead of just fight scene after fight scene. That, like the other two trilogies, we would see a different story. But it’s the same stuff with different people. And then you go and kill Han?

Help me out, Star Wars fans. I really do want to love this. But it’s rather difficult at the moment.